I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
