i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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