so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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