Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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