sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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