Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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