I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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