I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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