Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
