To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize