Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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