Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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