so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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