she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just high enough for therapy.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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