I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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