We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
