where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
