there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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