You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
