I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
