halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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