So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
