He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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