I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize