Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
