I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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