we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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