i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
