remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
