Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
