Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
