If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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