how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
