Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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