haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
