Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
