Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize