Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize