you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
