Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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