Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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