sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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