The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
