its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
