I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
