i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
