You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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