You're so nebulous sometimes
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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