She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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