i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
