Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
