if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
