I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
