it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
