I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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