Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
