At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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