hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
