I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
