oh god the rape fog is back!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
