how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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