Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
