gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My bed smells like the plague
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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