I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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