i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
