DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize