Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We need to get me chipped asap
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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