Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
