Even the bartender felt bad for me
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
