so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm bleeding and have questions
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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