there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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