dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
